


It Doesn't Count if it's Just Rin

by tenser



Category: Free!
Genre: Cheating, Jealousy, M/M, Marinka - Freeform, Multi, OT3, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-13 21:49:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3397562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenser/pseuds/tenser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru wants Rin as much as he needs Makoto. He didn't realize he would end up needing and wanting them both in the same way. A visit to Australia changes their static positions into a new configuration. Post ES, eventual OT3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I admit to being a shameless Rin fangirl who hates seeing him alone in Australia. Higher rating for later chapters.

While Haru waited in customs to enter the Land Down Under, he texted his boyfriend.

_Landed safely_

About two minutes later he received a response.

_Great! I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there. Good luck at the swim meet! We’re all going to cheer for you. You’re going to do great. Say hi to Rin. Love you, Makoto_

Haru felt something warm inside his chest. Because of the overnight flight, it seemed as if he’d just been at the airport kissing Makoto goodbye. But even so, his heart ached for the presence of his boyfriend, and of his friends. He was glad Makoto mentioned that Rei and Nagisa would be watching too. He could imagine them all huddled together on Makoto’s couch watching the TV.

 _Love you_ he texted back.

Speaking to get through customs was much easier this second time than it had been the first time Rin had dragged him to Australia. He had practicing saying, “To swim,” elongating the “ooo” and toning down his “ts” and dragging the “m” to sound like he spoke English (he still wasn’t anywhere near fluent). When they asked follow-up questions he just answered “yes,” without really trying to understand. Since he hadn’t brought more than a swimsuit and couple changes of clothes, he was through the rest of the process easily. He filtered out onto the concourse, looking for a clock to check the time for the train.

“Haru,” boomed a familiar voice.

He turned around to see an imposing redhead eyeing him from about fifteen feet away. The guy’s legs were spread wide in challenge, a baseball cap lending an ominous shadow to his glinting red eyes. For a second Haru felt adrenaline rush his system, ready to respond to the agression. But then the man’s head lifted and a mischievous, if deadly sharp smile, softened his features.

“Get lost already?”

“You said you’d meet me at the train station downtown, not the airport,” Haru replied. He wanted to snub Rin in annoyance but _that smile_ arrested him.

“I couldn’t wait to see you.” Rin came up and hugged him, strong arms wrapping around tightly. Suddenly, after months, Rin was his entire world again. The warm, sweet scent of Rin that hid under layers of chlorine and swimmer’s shampoo filled his nostrils. The physicality of the other’s body as it pressed against him sent up waves of relief from a tension he didn’t even realize he was holding. It wasn’t fair how much power Rin had to bend his world, but in moments like this he didn’t mind so much.

“I want to swim with you again,” Haru replied into Rin’s hair.

“Plenty of time for that later,” Rin grinned. “Hope you’re hungry” and off they went across Sydney to a sponsor lunch.

 

***

 

At the lunch, surrounded by total strangers wearing athletic jackets and polo shirts, Haru worked hard to push down the urge to go find the nearest bathroom and make the strangers go away. Because the meet he’d come to swim in was affiliated with the Commonwealth Games, no one from Haru’s team in Tokyo was participating. Rin had found some way to wheedle Haru in, and he didn’t ask questions about it, although he figured he should. Now that he was here, he didn’t have to schmooze like Rin was doing, but he figured he should at least talk. Rin was always pushing him to take more charge of his swimming career, after all, even if they were still in college.

He approached a woman with a sticker that had a dolphin on it, a logo he recognized from the advertising materials. He thanked her for sponsoring the event, and she laughed and asked for his business card. Friends of hers from other companies introduced themselves, and Haru passed out more business cards.

“Look at you, drawing a crowd,” Rin was suddenly leaning on his shoulder, an arm around his neck. It made him feel too much too fast - surprised, excited, embarrassed. Where had Rin even come from?

“Lay off,” he said in Japanese.

The lady twittered. Rin explained that they were old friends and then the conversation got too English for Haru to follow. Even though he was annoyed with Rin for butting in, he held the accomplishment of talking to others close to his heart. He excused himself again and struck up another, shorter conversation with a tall blond gentleman.

After the lunch wrapped up, Rin pulled him aside.

“What did I do to make you mad at me? You’ve only been in the country for half a day and I’ve managed to piss you off?!”

“I’m not mad.”

“Like hell you aren’t. You ran off every time I got close to you. So what did I do?”

“Nothing,” Haru said. He didn’t want to make him more mad by trying to explain and failing. Besides, Rin should have been able to tell that he was trying to socialize. Rin could be so annoying when he didn’t pay attention. No, Rin was just always annoying.

“It’s not nothing,” Rin growled, then sighed. “We’re taking a break next.”

“I don’t want to,” Haru said. That would be admitting he couldn’t stand up for himself.

“Just follow me,” Rin grabbed Haru’s hand with an iron grasp that he struggled against only briefly before resigning himself to being at the mercy of one of Rin’s whims.

The forced march ended abruptly in a nearby park, at the edge of a water fountain. Or fountains, to be more precise. It was one of those public monuments meant to amuse children, where jets of water leapt in pretty arcs from holes in the ground only to disappear down other holes. Haru immediately sensed how beautiful and playful the water that lived there was.

“There,” Rin said, nervously ruffling his hair.

Haru nodded, and jogged into the streams. He dodged the spray, feeling the strangeness of avoiding water, before giving in and letting himself touch the arcs. Tracing the water with his fingertips put a smile on his face. He loved this water. An unexpected burst sliced a wet line across his abdomen, then another hit his shoulder. And then, even more unexpectedly--

“Take that!” Rin yelled as he redirected a beam straight at Haru’s face.

The cold blast stunned him, but he quickly recovered, redirecting the next beam to pass him toward Rin. It fell short of its target.

“Ha ha, what was that?” Rin gloated, expertly directing an arc towards Haru’s leg.

As hard as Haru tried, he couldn’t match Rin’s precision. Perhaps because this water was so energetic, so like Rin, the redhead had a natural advantage. He kept trying, though, until Rin had thoroughly drenched him and was looking fairly wet himself.

“You look good when you smile,” he blurted out.

“You too,” Haru pointed out, blushing. Rin caught on that they’d just said something embarrassing and turned his own bright shade of red.

“Ugh, I’m soaked. C’mon, let’s go back to my place and change.”

Haru nodded, but although they left the dancing water behind, the excitement in his heart still leapt.

 

***

 

If someone had told Haru one of the more thrilling events in his life would consist of riding on a crowded bus pressed against a sopping wet Rin Matsuoka, he would have seriously doubted their sanity. But then, he did like water and he did like Rin.

The places where their skin touched grew warm and stuck together. Their clothes clung together too. When they separated to exit the bus, his body actually felt strange and lonely.

If there was a moment when perhaps he could have stopped the momentum, it would be this: The bathroom gleaming with afternoon sun. Haru with a fluffy towel in his hand about to enter the bathroom. Rin’s back to him, freshly relieved of its shirt. He could have turned away, simply walked to the tile of the kitchen and toweled himself down. He could have texted Makoto perhaps, to tell him about the jumping water. But instead he followed the leaping arc that was Rin.

He noticed Rin’s slight hesitation when peeling off his briefs. Haru held no compunction of his own about nudity. Still, when they slid into the shower (Rin had insisted that Haru not wait in cold, wet clothes), the presence of Rin’s skin so near to his own had a far more intoxicating effect than he realized. He felt just as he had on the bus, that they were one body.

“Sorry, kinda tight in here,” Rin said.

“I don’t mind,” Haru said.

It happened slowly at first, more of their flesh touching as they grew closer together, huddled around the warm stream. Haru let the feeling of belonging direct him. The pooling of water in Rin’s collarbone drew him. He inhaled and rested his head in the crook of Rin’s neck, watching droplets roll down his sculpted chest. Dampness clung to Rin’s neck, and he admired the roundness of the beads, even edging them with his nose. A fast pulse raced through Rin’s neck. Their faces edged ever closer and then their lips drew parallel. The first kiss was gentle, soft, heartbreakingly sweet.

The second kiss was anything but.

The floodgates opened. Hands led to mouths and back to hands. Rin’s mouth, so sharp and needy, crashed against his. He touched Rin’s arms, marveling at their thickness. Their groins pressed against each other, hiding no secrets of their arousal.

It wasn’t long before they were rubbing against each other in excitement, then completely rutting as they crushed their mouths together. Haru arched forward, pinning Rin against the back wall of the shower. While his partner was caught, he dipped his hand between their legs and grasped both their lengths. Seeing as he’d been in a gay relationship for several months, Haru did actually know how to stroke two cocks at once.

Soon Rin was gasping, crying in pleasure against his shoulder just as he imagined (fantasized, many times) that he would. Their hands intertwined, and with brisk strokes, brought them both to climax.

Afterwards they clung to each other, breathing as heavily as if they’d just swum a hundred freestyle. Only instead of a high five, Rin offered him his open palm, which he wove his fingers in.

 

***

 

After the Room 25 fiasco, Haru had somehow accepted the fact that while in Australia, he would sleep in the same bed as Rin. Although this time the cause wasn’t so much poor hotel service as an unspoken need to remain by the other’s side. Reassurance that their sudden dive into intimacy hadn’t damaged the friendship they’d struggled so hard to erect. Plus he only had one bed in his small apartment anyway and Rin would never let either of them sleep on the hard floor so close to competition time.

Before Haru attempted sleep, he set his phone next to the bed and texted a message to Makoto.

_Rin brought me to a fountain with leaping water. We had a good time. Rin’s shower is small but we fit._

As usual, Makoto wrote back quickly. _Glad you had a great time with Rin! Midterms this week are killing me, but don’t worry. Enjoy that weeklong vacation! Love you._

_Love you_

Haru realized he hadn’t mentioned the sex, but it didn’t seem right to try to bring it up after the conversation had ended. And in his mind, Haru honestly believed it was a one-time occurrence brought on by a magical afternoon. He didn’t want to worry Makoto.  

There were other things to think about anyway--meeting Rin’s new pool, getting souvenirs for his friends.

  
But one explosion of passion wasn’t enough to vent the magma chamber of sexual attraction they’d tapped into. When the two spent hours the next morning making love instead of going to swim practice, it became clear that although the outbursts were sudden, nothing about their deep attraction was momentary.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This brewing argument is definitely one of the reasons I wrote this fic. In which the fine line between being oblivious and being a jerk is walked.

Haru wasn’t sure what he was expecting when they returned to Rin’s place that third night, but it wasn’t to have dinner at home and go to sleep early - which seemed to be the plan. Yes, they’d practiced, but seeing as how the meet was two days away, the swimming had been light. Haru wasn’t tired, and he doubted Rin was.

 _Went to a shopping mall after practice today. Rin likes flashy clothes,_ Haru texted Makoto.

But here Rin was, returning back from washing the dishes, and rubbing the back of his neck as if it was sore.

Makoto replied promptly. _He’s always had unusual taste, I think? I don’t know much about clothes ^^; Did you buy anything?_

“Mmm, it’ll feel good to turn in,” Rin said. “Gonna put my pajamas on.”

_No. But I did tell him you’re my boyfriend. It came up._

_< 3 <3 <3 How did that go? <3_

Haru wordlessly shut off his phone and put on his own sleep clothes, wondering if Rin had something special in mind. But once he’d pulled his worn blue pajamas from his bag in the empty bedroom, he found the other boy in the living room watching TV. Maybe Rin wanted to cuddle before they had sex, although TV wasn’t necessarily part of that.

Out of consideration for Haru’s low language skill level, Rin put on the Japanese station. It was showing a samurai movie. Haru found his attention wandering very quickly to how Rin was putting distance between the two of them on the couch, leaning on his far side to diddle with the remote. Usually, the only good part about watching TV was having someone’s warm body pressed against him. Without that it was tiresome.

Even Rin lost his stoic appreciation for the ponderous film. “Nn, let’s watch something else,” he said, flipping through to some variety show. He turned to Haru and grinned.

“This is for you to practice your English,” he said.

“Too much trouble,” Haru retorted. He didn’t want an evening filled with the same auditory onslaught as his day.

“Okay, I’ll make it easy for you.” Rin flipped to a childrens cartoon station.  

“Hey,” Haru said. “I’m not a kid.”

“Then get better at your English by actually practicing it,” Rin grinned fiendishly. Haru hated how Rin could spur him into doing anything.

Haru mimicked the talking mouse on the screen, which sent Rin into peals of laughter.

“Not bad!” he laughed.

Haru’s glower turned into a look of confused embarrassment. Why was Rin both laughing and praising him?

“This is a pain,” he said, looking away.

“Fine, fine. Let’s play a game instead,” Rin said, flipping over to the video game screen. “Got your favorite.”

“Sea Creatures IV,” Haru read. It was a good game.

Things improved while they were playing. Rin smiled, and forgot to avoid touching him. Not that Haru had much time to pay attention while he was busy showing Rin he might suck at English, but was a master of collecting sea creatures.

“Ahh, you won,” Rin sighed and slumped against the couch. The arm he’d flung to the backrest of the couch cradled Haru unconsciously, and before Rin could retract it, Haru leaned over and kissed him.

Rin’s lips were always soft, nothing like the terrible teeth underneath. He couldn’t even feel the sharpened points when they kissed gently, as they did now. Rin’s mouth opened automatically, and their tongues flicked lightly against each other.

Haru let the game controller fall to his lap as he stroked Rin’s side. The thin fabric of the redhead’s T-shirt did little to conceal the hard muscle beneath. As Haru leaned farther over, possessing more of his rival, Rin suddenly flinched, drawing back.

“Th-That’s enough,” Rin said. He looked flustered and frustrated, in a blend Haru couldn’t quite parse.

“It’s not enough,” Haru said.

“Haru!” Rin was definitely angry about Haru not grasping something unsaid. So he decided on being blunt.

“It’s the truth. I want all of you. I want to have sex with you right now,” Haru deadpanned.

“That’s… That’s not fair! How can you say that?” Rin flopped toward the flustered side, his brows working overtime to convey his confusion and hurt.

“Because I mean it,” Haru said.

“But,” Rin seemed to catch himself. After some internal debate that Haru patiently waited through, Rin finally said, “What about Mako? You’re dating, right?”

“Yes. Makoto’s not here,” Haru said. A confusing twinge shot through him, but he ignored it. Rin was being stupid.

However, Rin looked horrified. “Get off,” he commanded.

“No,” Haru said.

“I mean it, get the fuck off me and we’re finally going to talk about this,” Rin’s voice was low and not amused.

Haru refused to budge and they grappled, tumbling to the floor. Not until they’d banged multiple elbows did Rin emerge on top, his legs spread to pin Haru’s hips to the floor. In a perverse way, it was the intimacy he’d been craving, albeit with more clothes than he’d imagined.  

He reached to touch Rin’s exposed hipbone, but was swatted away.

“Jesus Christ, Haru, is sex all you think about? Is that all this is?” Rin was getting worked up, his cheeks reddening. He gripped Haru’s shirt with both hands, strong arms lifting him up and shaking him.

“I want to touch you while I can,” Haru argued.

Rin wavered, then gritted his teeth and shouted. “And then forget me and go back to touching Makoto? Your _boyfriend._ Why didn’t you tell me that piece of information, don’t you think that’s a little important here?!”

Haru frowned. “If you were around in Japan I wouldn’t have had to tell you.”

A dark look settled on Rin’s face. “There's such a thing as a phone and that’s not even the point, but...I came here for my dream. You know that.”

It was obvious to Haru that Rin could have lived his dream in Japan, but Rin was not a reasonable person. He did things based on feelings, like the irrational romantic he was. Haru pondered that a bit more and happened upon a reason why Rin might be upset at the moment. The eternal romantic was worried that having sex meant he wasn’t valued romantically. There were other reasons, but they flitted out of his grasp.

“You can be my ‘boyfriend’ then,” Haru offered.

Rin looked entirely vulnerable for a second, confirming what Haru already knew: that title and the romantic feelings it implied mattered deeply to Rin. But instead of that vulnerability turning into the red-cheeked, happily-on-the-verge-of-tears person he liked so much, he deflated and slumped to the ground next to Haru.

“Don’t say that. You’re a piece of shit, Haru,” Rin mumbled.

That actually irritated him. What was Rin mad about now? Hadn’t he told him his true feelings? He did think of Rin romantically, and boyfriend was an appropriate term.

“Don’t call me that,” Haru glowered.

“Why shouldn’t I? I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that you’re going to tell Mako to stop being your boyfriend so that you can fuck me, but you know he wouldn’t ever leave you. You’re just going to keep him around and still date him, just without the title. That’s fucked up.”

Haru frowned. He hadn’t really thought that far, but things could end up like that. But it would only go that way because Rin was being unreasonable in the first place. It wasn’t the only alternative.

“Why can’t you both be my boyfriends?” Haru stated.

“Ha,” Rin started to chuckle. “Mako’s a saint so I’m sure he’d say yes, but I want more than half of you.”

“You always were greedy,” Haru said.

“Hey!”

The joke broke the brooding miasma between them, and their eyes met. The connection between them hummed, alive with hope and affection. Rin could only sustain the bond for a moment before looking away.

“I used to admire you, you know,” Rin said.

“I don’t want to be admired.”

“Yeah, I can tell. Cheating on your boyfriend.”

“Stop saying it like that,” Haru said, frowning.

“What, then you called Mako and told him what we’ve been doing?”

“Not really,” Haru said. Rin read that the wrong way immediately, as _Makoto-doesn’t-need-to-know-because-I’m-cheating_ , his mouth twitching unhappily.

“He understands me,” Haru added. He hated that Rin was making him explain things that Makoto didn’t even need explained.

“And you think he’s okay with it?” For once, Rin’s tone was genuinely curious. And unfortunately, Haru didn’t actually have an answer.

“I don’t know,” was his best summary of Makoto’s emotions. After all, he’d be lying if he said he actually knew. Considering Haru’s recent texts had been vague even by his own low standards, he couldn’t really say they’d discussed anything. Mako had been extra clingy with his texts the past few days, but he’d assumed that was simply because Haru was in a foreign country. Maybe it was something else. It could be that he read through the lines, knew everything, and wasn’t okay with it.

Rin curled into a ball, leaning against the entertainment center. “We need a plan of action. Let’s start with this, okay? You’re going to talk to Makoto, directly, when you’re back. I’m not continuing until he’s on board. So probably never.”

Having Rin pull away from him further staked a dagger through Haru’s heart. He wasn’t good at bargaining, or begging, but he felt so much panic at that moment that he spoke without thinking.

“Only if I can touch you while I’m here.”

“What kind of a deal is that? No way.”

Angry that Rin had taken a hard line that made his body inaccessible, Haru lashed out, “I’m not swimming at the meet then.”

“The fuck?! What is wrong with you? Isn’t swimming on the international stage your dream?”

“Not at the expense of the people I care about.”

“You’d be hurting the people you care about by not swimming! Don’t you think Mako wants to see you swim? And the Iwatobi peanut gallery is going to be gathered around a TV somewhere, you know that.”

But it would be hurting them more if Haru had a breakdown in the pool. And although he was a stronger person now than during his epic meltdown at regionals their senior year of high school, he still wasn’t strong enough to race while deeply conflicted. Or race against Rin when Rin was being emotional and vulnerable. That territory would be forever fraught. And although Rin often lost in their match-ups and take it just fine, he didn’t seem to be in a mood to lose anything to Haru right now. The consequences could be disastrous.

“Don’t shut down on me,” Rin growled, grabbing Haru’s chin and forcing him to look at him.

Rin’s hand on his skin was too much. He wanted Rin so badly, couldn’t bear to be parted from this person who made him feel so much, that he dared to nuzzle the fingers gripping him. He was gripped harder in return, but that was all right, Rin’s force was more acceptable than his absence. He rubbed against the hand until Rin gave up and merely cupped the side of his face.

“You’re not fair,” Rin whimpered, then closed the distance to kiss him deeply. It felt like a missing piece of him was restored.

As they made love in Rin’s bed, the buzz of arousal drowned out the pangs of frustration and anger that had made their edges so hard earlier. Sex knocked them over like a wave, drawing them deep under and washing away everything else. With sated and drained bodies tucked in for the night, Rin whispered to him.

“We’re still going to talk about this after the competition.”

Haru wasn’t sure whether to take that as a warning or as a plea for forgiveness, so he choose both. Before he drifted off to sleep, he texted Makoto.

  
 _Rin and I fought. We haven’t made up yet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Amberemerald for the beta!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cringe at how awkward having an argument this way is. Anyway, Makoto finally shows up in this chapter :3 Enjoy the Mako.

Despite numerous messages from Makoto, Haru deflected the issue the next morning, saying they’d made up. After all, Rin said they’d talk after the meet, so they would. That counted as some form of resolution, making up. For his part, Rin seemed back to normal. He didn’t withhold sensual caresses in the shower or have anything but complimentary things to say when Haru spread him wide open and fucked him after that afternoon’s short practice. He touched Haru causally and smiled at him constantly.

Before dinner, he remembered that Makoto would be getting out of class, and so he called. It was good to hear his voice.

“Is everything really all right with you and Rin? Um, he’s probably right there, so I guess you can’t say anything about it, but are things okay?”

“Yes, we went running this morning and had a short practice,” Haru said. It felt odd to skirt the truth, as if he was walking near a drop without looking at his feet.

“You’re both doing the 100 free in the meet, right? I think we saw that on the schedule for 10 am prelims... “

“Yes.”

After more chatter, mostly from Makoto about the state of Haru’s houseplant and a sale on mackerel that Haru missed, the conversation ended. He could hear Rin microwaving something in the kitchen. They said their goodbyes and l love yous, and hung up.

“Say that again,” Rin said, sauntering in from the kitchen.

“I love you,” Haru repeated.

“The whole thing.”

“I love you, Makoto,” Haru added.

The corners of Rin’s mouth twitched. He could see Rin’s angel of restraint battling with his demon of moodiness. He watched as, quite expectedly, the demon won out.

 

“God, Haru, I can’t do this!” Rin slumped to the floor, hands covering his face. Sobs echoed through the kitchen. Uncertain, Haru sat uncomfortably. But he couldn’t listen to the crying any more than Rin had been able to listen to him on the phone.

 

He sat next to Rin on the floor, and put his arm around him.

“You ass,” Rin said, gripping his shirt with tense, trembling hands. He buried his face in the loose material he’d yanked towards himself, soaking it in tears. “I love you.”

Haru didn’t know what to say, so he petted Rin’s shaking head. He knew he loved Rin, but he was unused to using his words, his deep emotions, as anyone’s comfort. But still, it was never hard to be blunt. “I love you. Rin.”

That sparked a new bout of tears. Haru held the other boy until his sobs subsided.

“We have to call Mako,” he said.

“Okay,” Haru said. “But you should blow your nose first.”

“‘kay,” Rin said, shuffling off to the relative sanctuary of the bathroom. Meanwhile Haru found his phone and sat on the couch looking for speakerphone mode. A sense of previously unconsidered dread arose as he brought up Makoto’s number. Should he have discussed this with Makoto first, just the two of them? Would Makoto be mad to feel like the third party? Would Makoto be mad if he said he loved Rin? He was so sure Makoto accepted his feelings for Rin that he hadn’t considered anything else.

Like a coward, he waited until Rin emerged from the bathroom. The other boy gestured for him to get up.

“Not somewhere we’ve fucked. The table’s neutral.”

Sitting in opposite chairs across the small wooden table, Haru pressed the screen and dialed his boyfriend.

“Haru? Did you forget something?”

“Makoto. It’s me again. Rin’s here, too.”

“Hi Rin,” Mako’s smile was audible.

“Yo,” Rin said, his voice so low it surprised Haru. He was so much more bubbly around Haru and in bed that he forgot sometimes about the shield of masculinity he kept the world at bay with.

“Are you guys ready for the meet tomorrow?” Mako attempted to keep the conversation light, playing mediator for what he assumed was a fight between Rin and Haru.

“Yeah, but that’s not what we want to talk about. Look, Haru has something to say to you,” Rin pinned Haru squarely in the spotlight, forcing him into the confession. It wasn’t appreciated, but like any challenge, now he couldn’t back down.

“I love Rin,” he said simply.

“Um, right?” Mako laughed nervously. “You guys are friends, so... “

“We slept together,” Rin said evenly.

“Oh,” was the only sound from Makoto’s end. After some measure of silence: “You could have waited until you got home to tell me,” said the diminished voice.

“Don’t blame Haru for calling, this was my idea,” Rin said. “As for the rest, both of us share the responsibility for everything.”

“I’m sorry, Makoto,” Haru suddenly felt compelled to say it. His boyfriend’s pain was tangible, and words of apology were not enough to mend the wounds, but he wanted to offer something.

“It’s okay,” Makoto said. “You’ve always been...attracted to each other. It was my fault for getting in the way.”

“No,” Haru interjected at the same time Rin shouted, “Don’t give me that shit, Mako! You always give up too easily. You love Haru, don’t you?”

“Rin…” Makoto whined. “I do.”

“I love you, Makoto,” Haru said. This he was completely sure of, and he knew that it was something Makoto liked to hear. It was also something that had grown comforting to say.

“Then don’t give up. Obviously I feel like shit for crashing your relationship, but it’s already been done. We have to work out something now. Haru won’t say it in front of you, but he’s going to have a hard time giving me up. So I don’t want to drop out of the picture completely, even though that’s the right thing to do.”

The phone was silent.

“Mako,” Rin prodded.

“Sorry, it’s… I’m…”

More silence followed. Rin looked at Haru for answers.

Light sobbing came over the phone.

“Shit,” Rin swore and grabbed the phone off the table and brought it near his mouth. “Go on, cry it out. Lay it all on me. I deserve it.”

Haru leaned over and spoke too. “I’m sorry, Makoto.”

“God, you said that already, don’t you have anything else to tell him?” Rin chided.

Haru thought for a moment. Then to Makoto: “I want to keep being your boyfriend.”

The sobbing got louder. Rin swore again, and then he too was crying, laying the phone back on the table to wipe his eyes. It finally hit Haru exactly what was at stake. The two people who he cared most about were in pain because he needed them both so much. He’d been the greedy one, asking for more than either of their hearts could give without receiving serious wounds.

“Haru,” Makoto’s voice rallied through his tears. “I’m...sniff...sorry too. I want to be with you, Haru, so much, I…I can’t imagine life without you.” That set Rin off into sobs. Haru listened, marveling at the depth of love each were capable of, even if outwardly they couldn’t be more different as people.

“I want to be with you both,” Haru said, which only set off more crying. It was Mako who finally answered in tempered words.

“Right now, I’m not sure you deserve either of us.”

Coming from Mako, what was already a serious statement became absolutely devastating. Haru froze, the implications whirling in his mind. He’d pushed Makoto’s forgiveness too far, and even though he’d never considered it, Makoto might leave him.

After another pregnant silence, Mako spoke.

“Haru, I want you to know I won’t stop you from being intimate with Rin while you’re there, but we need to talk when you come back, okay?”

“Mako,” Rin interrupted. “You and I need to talk too.”

“Yes.”

A pause followed as all parties attempted to stand on the newly formed neutral territory between them.

“Rin, I’m jealous of you,” Mako sighed. “You get to be there with Haru right now. Is he okay?”

He could have asked directly, but apparently he really was too mad at his boyfriend. Rin fixed him with a bleary gaze, wiped his eyes and then replied.

“I don’t know. I wish you were here, you can read him better than me. He isn’t bawling or anything and it’s actually kind of annoying.”

“Can you hug him for me? Let him know I don’t hate him.”

“I don’t hate you either,” Haru said.

“Sure,” Rin obeyed, winding a heavy arm around Haru’s shoulders.

“Um, I think that’s as long as I can talk tonight. We’ll continue when you get home, okay? And text me while you’re there.”

“Sounds good,” Rin said. “Bye, Mako.”

“Goodbye, Rin. Goodbye, Haru.”

After the receiver clicked, the two sat in the empty kitchen. The fluorescent light cast the only warmth into the room; Haru felt cold in all the places Rin wasn’t pressed against.

“Did you get what you wanted?” Haru asked.

“Fuck no,” Rin said. “You think I wanted to make a good guy like Mako cry? You’re a sadist, Haru.”

“Why do you twist everything I say?” Haru grumbled.

“I was an idiot for ever thinking you were cool,” Rin said. His words were insulting, but ever since he’d cried his eyes out, his mood had been lighter. Still, Rin’s ability to move forward at breakneck speed was actually going to break his neck one day.

They milled around for a while before going to bed. Their unspoken accord to remain platonic slowly dissolved into handjobs when neither could really fall asleep or ignore the presence of the other. Somehow, afterward, Haru didn’t feel worse. The guilt that he’d unknowingly carried around had been alleviated somewhat by the phone call. And although panic about his future flapped like a frightened bird in his chest, he listened to the beat of his heart falling into sync with Rin’s, and took great comfort in the love he knew to be all around him.

 

***

 

Haru got on the train from Narita to Tokyo, the lingering sensation of Rin’s last desperate kiss still on his lips. Once again it was early morning, and the night’s plane ride had passed quickly. Even though his boyfriend (if he was still allowed to call him that) had declined to meet him at the airport, citing some school reason, he half-expected Makoto to show up anyway.

But he didn’t, and Haru didn’t see the college student until Makoto walked in the door that evening. He was wearing red plaid and glasses, his college uniform so to speak, and Haru couldn’t help admiring how his broad shoulders filled out his shirt nearly to bursting, as they did most shirts, and how well his glasses suited him. Pants tended to cling to Makoto’s hips in an enticing way, and today was no exception. Haru tucked his lustful observations away for safekeeping and turned away to avoid staring, because that often unnerved Makoto.

In any case, they had to talk. Makoto innately sensed the tension between them and went for his first defense: avoidance.

“Ah, hold on, I’m going to drop my bags in the room,” Makoto said. When he finally emerged, he had no choice but to meet Haru in the front hall. Haru leaned up and kissed him.

Makoto’s mouth was so different from Rin’s. The contrast threw him in the first transitional kisses. It was bigger, and enveloped his lips. His kisses contained no sharp bites, and Mako knew just how Haru liked his tongue to be played with. Haru enjoyed kissing Makoto every chance he could--not exactly lamenting all the times he’d passed up the opportunities before they were dating, but making up for it now.

“I missed you,” Makoto said, breaking the kiss. His gentle, loving expression quickly turned strained as he employed his second defense: pretending everything was normal. “Did you already make dinner? I’m hungry!” Makoto deflected. “And I missed your cooking too.”

“Yes,” Haru replied.

“Great, let’s eat!”

He caught Mako’s arm before he could sweep the brewing conflict under a rug of normalcy. Rin’s penchant for conflict must have been wearing off on him. If only he’d carefully put together something to tell Makoto that he could recite, rather than being swept up in swirling emotions.

“I’m sorry,” was all he managed.

Mako hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You cheated on me, you know.”

Haru braced himself for Mako’s words of rapprochement.

“But I think I know why,” Mako offered.

He’d always depended on Makoto’s understanding. He could have let things stand there, but he wanted to be clear, because he’d been wrong about Makoto’s emotions. He just couldn’t find the words yet, so he let Makoto continue.

“You two have always meant a lot to each other. Now that we’re older, you’ve realized your feelings for each other include a...a...attraction,” Makoto stumbled, but regained himself. “So it’s not surprising that you explored those feelings.”

Makoto held his shoulders firmly now, staring off because he couldn’t look at Haru, the strong lines of his face handsome in their resoluteness. His jawline was beautiful.

“I guess I wish you’d said something sooner,” Makoto sighed.

“Makoto, I’m sorry,” Haru repeated. This time he forced himself to follow through. As hard as it was for Makoto to stand up for himself, he needed to put forth that amount of effort to do what was hard for him and express himself. “I want to be with you.”

“You want to be with Rin too, don’t you?”

Haru nodded. He wouldn’t deny it.

“I’ll think about it,” he said, surprising Haru. “I know you want to be with both of us, just…the thought of losing you to Rin is a little scary.”

“Rin won’t win me,” Haru suddenly raised his voice.

After he flinched, Mako smiled. “I guess we don’t have to worry about anyone beating _you_. I just hope that you want to keep me as a prize.”

It was irritating that Makoto would back down like that. After he’d been so angry at him before, why was he letting Haru get what he wanted? But at the same time Haru was grateful that Makoto wasn’t pressing the point when the wounds were still fresh.

“Makoto, I want you,” he said, lifting up on his toes to kiss his boyfriend. Makoto kissed back, hesitantly at first, but then with vigor. His hands slid up Haru’s shirt, touching him in all the right places.

Sex with Makoto was different than with Rin. Makoto was attentive, rarely letting up the pleasure on Haru. And instead of Rin’s brisk handjobs, Makoto used his mouth, and the strong core of his body to press against him. With Rin, Haru was an equal, but with Mako he was exalted and wrapped in love. Not that Makoto didn’t take his pleasure too, or that Haru never gave it to him, but the dynamics were such that Haru never had to fight for anything.

Makoto gave him an additional comfort before they drifted off. “Don’t cut me off again, Haru. We’re partners now, remember?”

“Okay,” Haru said, and his chest filled with warmth as he said it.

  
He laid in Makoto’s arms, in his big, comfy bed and fell asleep listening to the rise and fall of his boyfriend’s chest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of all the arguments.

Haru paced the hall. He’d sat in the cafe on the corner for 30 minutes, and took his time getting back to the house, but the door was still locked, which meant Makoto and Rin were still on the phone and he wasn’t allowed in. Frustrated and nervous, he slid to the ground next to the vending machine outside his apartment. The pebbling of the worn asphalt reminded him of beach sand, and he longed to be swimming instead of waiting for his two lovers to finish talking about him. 

It wasn’t the first time the two had talked on the phone since the blowup, and Haru was really starting to wonder what they were talking about so privately. 

Suddenly, his phone beeped. It was a message from Rin.

We’re done talking.

At the same moment, the door opened, and Makoto popped out.

“Sorry to make you sit out there! We had a lot to talk about,” Mako smiled.

“It’s fine,” Haru mumbled. 

Another message popped up on his phone. 

If you fuck this up, I’m going to kill you.

Haru frowned, Mako noticed. “Is Rin texting you? He must be telling you what we talked about.”

“Here,” Haru showed his phone to Mako. 

“He’s always so harsh, isn’t he? Ha ha.” Mako said. 

“What did you talk about?” Haru was dying of curiosity. 

“Wellll, I think we agreed that he would tell you,” Makoto said. That was just like Rin, Haru thought. Makoto was right here and perfectly capable of saying things in a way he’d understand, but Rin wanted to assert himself.

“You should call him,” Makoto urged. “Um, on speakerphone though.”

Haru did as told and shortly Rin was on the line.

“Yo, Haru. Is Mako there?”

“Yes. He’s behind me.”

“Why’d you include that detail? Anyway, you passed the first test.”

“Test?” Haru did not like the pejorative sound of that. Since when was Rin in a position to give him any tests? “I’m hanging up.”

A chorus of pleas from both Rin and Mako kept him from hitting the End Call button. 

“Just to see if you could handle calling me with Mako listening. It’s done with now, so let’s move on. Okay, so you’re a fucking selfish bastard, but we both love you, so we’re going to try things your way.

“But! Listen, we’re only doing it because Mako and I are friends and it would be kinda awkward to both stay with you and never talk about it. So everyone’s going to keep everything above board.”

Haru felt his chest slowly unclench as Makoto and Rin outlined their plan for how things would work. By the time they finished, his chest was tight again, but this time with overwhelming love. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

“Hey, is he acting cute right now? Mako, take a picture,” Rin said.

“I don’t think he’d like that,” Mako tried to protect him.

“That’s why deserves it,” Rin grinned. Haru glared at the phone.

But the flare of anger only lasted a moment before dissolving into the mushy pile of happy feelings around him. 

“Makoto, kiss him for me,” Rin said.

“I can do that,” Makoto agreed, and smacked Haru on the lips. He did it a second time, “For me.”

***

Haru was starting to wonder if Makoto and Rin were dating each other instead of him. They mailed cards back and forth and one time Makoto even had flowers delivered to Rin’s house to congratulate him. In other words, they got to do all the sappy boyfriend things that they never got to do with Haru. 

It was a little annoying. 

Talking to Rin so often, as both Mako and Rin insisted he do now, was annoying, even though it was also fun.

Unfortunately, getting intimate alone time with Makoto was harder because they both talked to Rin more. And Haru craved more of that intimacy. Even though he was glad for Rin’s presence, Makoto’s physical body demanded his attention, begging to be touched and pleasured. 

And so one day, when Makoto had made the craving worse by pressing up against Haru’s shoulder during a joint video call to Rin, Haru started stroking Makoto’s neck, then nuzzling and kissing it.

“So you have to get the full set if-- Jesus, Haru, what are you doing?” came Rin’s embarrassed tone. 

“Watch,” Haru commanded, and dragged Makoto down into a full kiss. Makoto lightly moaned, his hand falling to cup Haru’s chin. Haru wanted to run his hand across his boyfriend’s chest, so he stuck a hand underneath the shirt and palmed the wide expanse. 

“Haru! Oh god…” Rin wavered on the other end.

Haru wasn’t waiting one more second. He took his hands out of Makoto’s shirt and turned around to fist it instead. He dragged his surprised but willing boyfriend down on top of him, Haru’s back crashing against the desk. He couldn’t see Rin anymore because the computer was behind him, but heard his voice in his ear. It was as if he was sitting right behind him, and Haru let that image electrify him all the way down to his cock. 

“Hey, Haru, are you seriously doing this?!”

He let Makoto kiss his neck while he scrambled to pull down Makoto’s pants, struggling with the belt. 

“Jesus! I can see Mako’s underwear right there!”

Normally, Rin’s obvious play-by-play would have annoyed him, but right now it was turning him on. Makoto seemed to understand what was going on, and was ready to play his part in this voyeuristic fantasy. He undid his belt buckle and shoved his pants to the ground. Haru felt Makoto’s dick brush against his thigh, and his own cock stood on edge. 

“Rin, are you looking?” Haru said. 

“No, I’m-- I mean, yes. I mean, are you really going to do this? Right in front of me? Is this okay?”

“I’m okay with it if Haru is, and I think he likes it,” Makoto smiled at Rin’s video box on the screen. 

“But this is private. I can’t unsee it!”

“Keep watching,” Haru said. It wasn’t a thrill of exhibitionism as much as getting away with something transgressive. Rin wasn’t supposed to be watching, and that was why it felt so good that he was.

Makoto leaned in over Haru, pressing their bodies together lewdly, and Haru wound his fingers in Makoto’s short hair. His boyfriend’s body and hard cock were already between his spread legs. 

“Is doing it like this okay?” Makoto asked. 

Haru moaned his agreement, and so did Rin. As Makoto walked off to get the lube, Haru palmed himself. Sounds of shuffling and rhythmic slapping came through the monitor and it made Haru stroke himself harder. 

“Fuck, I can see how hard your dick is,” Rin said breathlessly. 

“I want to be fucked,” Haru said. The fapping noises increased sharply from Rin’s end.

“This won’t take too long,” Makoto said as he returned, and Haru dimly realized he was saying things for Rin’s benefit. “After all, we just did this yesterday.” Rin growled and whimpered at the same time, but otherwise remained silent now that Makoto was back. 

The familiar stretch of his rear entrance consumed Haru’s attention for a moment. Even with the number of times that they had sex like this, it was always a process to relax his muscles and accept the intrusion. To tell the truth, he didn’t like bottoming very much, but sometimes he craved the vulnerable intimacy of it. 

Makoto loved fingering him, however, and buzzed with happy energy as he slid his fingers inside sensually. He pressed in a suite of three fingers, twisting them to tease and widen the entrance more. In the midst of the deep concentration, Haru grasped his flagging dick and began stroking himself into full arousal. 

“Now,” Haru said. 

Mako positioned himself better, lubing himself up behind Haru’s thigh. “Um, sorry, Rin. I don’t really want you to see my dick yet.”

“Yeah,” Rin agreed, a choked sound the first Haru’d heard from him in a while. 

“If you’re ready?” Makoto checked in a final time, one hand raising his cock to line up with Haru’s hole. 

“Put it in,” Haru said.

He heard Rin gasp while a wave of intense feeling hit him. When Makoto filled him, even a little, he always went faint and buzzy. The sensation didn’t die down until Makoto pulled out, and pushed in a few times, familiarizing his body with the sensation. When he started to long for more of the feeling, he begged Makoto. 

“Yes, oh,” Makoto had been so stoic throughout the affair but was beginning to let desire command the thrust of his hips in the greedy way he pushed Haru’s thighs open. 

“Shit,” came the appreciative appraisal from Rin. Riding on the sensation of being filled, Haru grasped at the monitor, trying to touch Rin through it. His fingers haphazardly brushed the screen and Rin moaned. 

“Are you close?” Haru asked, and he simultaneously felt Makoto’s dick twitch and heard Rin struggle to catching his breath through his moans. 

Haru fucked his fist with his free hand, dragging Makoto into his pace. The wooden desk under him was hard on his back, but it would all be over shortly. He was so close. As he arched his back to force Makoto’s cock to that perfect angle, he heard deep breaths from Rin’s side. His redheaded rival had already climaxed. 

He closed his fist over the top of his dick, imagining Rin having done the same watching him just seconds before. But then Makoto’s movements drew his attention and they bucked in unison, Makoto giving out first and coming inside Haru with a long moan. While his dick was still inside, Haru gave himself a few expert tugs and sent himself over the edge into a thick, paralyzing orgasm. 

His hand brushed the monitor and he started to come back down. When Makoto finally helped him to his feet (and put his own pants back on), he finally looked into the monitor. Rin was gazing off at something, his hair mussed and his cheeks red. If only he’d been able to to watch Rin get that way. 

“So, that was weird. Anyway, I’ll call tomorrow,” Rin said, only meeting his gaze for a second. 

“We can do it again then,” Haru said. 

“Maybe next time we’ll watch you, Rin,” Makoto smiled. 

“Fine whatever!” Rin sputtered in embarrassment. “Goodnight. Love you.”

Both Mako and Haru responded. “Love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now that's the fic's over, I feel like it's just begun. In terms of a relationship between the three of them, that is. I want to see Rin coming to visit for the first time… heh heh. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Amberemerald for the beta!


End file.
